A Daughter’s Cry for Miracle…

Day 3, 2:11am, still in the hospital, two days in a row, I’ve been mom’s care taker in the hospital.  I must say that it’s not an easy task, not because its physically exhausting but more than anything it’s the emotional battle that a daughter has to face as she sees her mom suffering and slowly deteriorating.

Mom has advanced / stage 4 cancer, her breast cancer has already metastasized on her lungs, we all didn’t realize that her chronic cough and breathlessness was a symptom of her lung condition, we were just alarmed when it showed in her x-ray that she has fluids in her lungs. Initially, she was insisting that the doctor said that it was just a mild pneumonia but I was doubtful, thought that she might have not divulged her medical history to her doctors.  Mom is very independent, she would rather ask her friends to accompany her than ask us, sadly and admittedly, I also was very insensitive.

Thursday 3am,  mom told me about her x-ray result, I immediately made my research on the internet and ask my friend who works as a nurse in Ireland, thank God for technology, I was able to speak to her through the internet, thank God for the time difference cause she was still awake when I tried to message her, told her about mom’s condition and what I read on the net, sadly, she confirmed it – Pleural Effusion.  

Thursday, my brothers and sis in laws coordinated with each other and decided to bring mom to a hospital near my brother’s house; Thursday night, my brother fetched her from our Manila home and Friday morning she was brought to the hospital, went through all the necessary tests and the fluid draining also started.  At 11:28am, I received a text message regarding mom’s CT Scan result and boom!! I felt the world has fallen flat on my face, I cried profusely, I didn’t immediately went to the hospital for I didn’t know how to put up an “okay” face to my mom, I felt my world has stopped, I was confused, I wanted to immediately drive myself to mom but my hands were all shaking, actually my whole body was at the same time I wanted to speak to my dad and convince him to finally end their 11 year rift. I wanted to pray but I don’t know what to say, I do not want to ask the why question for I know I do not have the right to do that until I reach to a point that I was begging on the Lord for a miracle…I also asked the Lord to give me the strength to speak to my dad but instead of asking for wisdom, I asked Him to speak through me instead, until God gave me the opportunity to speak to dad….I saw the concern in his eyes but sadly, he chose to keep his pride.  I was really hurt but I just lift his heart in God’s hands, as far as I am concerned, I did my part as a daughter, I knew I did what God wanted me to do and I can no longer do anything beyond that…All is in God’s hands now…..

Being a child of a terminally ill cancer patient is something that I will never wish to happen even to the people who have hurt me the most. During the early stages mom’s cancer, I used to think that those who have money has better advantage but now even if we do not have sufficient funds for possible treatments that could possibly help extend her life, I realized that whether a person is rich or poor, it doesn’t matter anymore, the pain and suffering both the patient and its love-ones will all be just the same, the suffering when the disease came to its advance stage and when the patient is at a certain age where chemo might just bring more devastation to than enjoy the remaining days of the patient’s life.

I will be getting married on August 4, for months I’ve been praying for a family miracle, that God would finally answer my prayer for years with regards to our family predicament then this came…..

I knew I have no right to question the Lord, that’s why I chose not to question Him instead I asked Him to help me trust Him despite being in a situation where no one can really be in control but Him, where I can never be certain on what to expect but just be solely dependent and entrust everything on the Lord, the sovereign God and the God of the Already…

Saturday night while mom was watching TV, in between commercials, I was sharing the gospel of salvation to her, we were happily discussing about God’s love to us and by the grace of God, mom agreed to pray the acceptance prayer, she invited the Lord Jesus to be the Lord and Saviour of her life.  I knew it was God who orchestrated that moment, it was God’s way of telling me “Rhycel, I hear your hearts’ prayer”.  As I remind myself of Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11, I realized that this journey is not just about mom but God has a plan for us all; as for me, I realized that God is in fact answering my prayer on wanting to be a good daughter and be able to whole heartedly honor my parents, I also now truly appreciate why in years the Lord didn’t bless me with another corporate job or a business that would really occupy most of my time, for I pray that if the time comes that one of us has to go, I do not want to have any have anything left unsaid, any unfinished business or regret things that I wanted to do or say but failed to do so because I didn’t had the time or made the wrong choice of priority.

I know that God is moving in our lives now in a very mysterious way….it’s just sooooooo overwhelming, never mind the physical exhaustion but its too emotionally and mentally draining. I know I should not fear for God already gave me an assurance that whatever happens mom will be with Him but as my mom’s child, I still can’t help but be emotional especially at times that I realize that anytime we could loose her.

To whoever will be reading this blog, I would like to shamelessly request to please help us pray for the following:

For Mom:

Supernatural healing for her cancer, may God miraculously take-away all the cancer cells in her body, may God allow mom to experience God and witness His loving mercy and grace, may God comfort her when she learns about her real health condition (the doctor told her already without using the C word but it seems either she’s on denial or she refused to understand it, but she was wondering how come her cough, fatigue and breathlessness is not improving), may she experience love, joy and peace before she leaves earth, may God allow her to witness my wedding on August 4 (her friend said that mom’s dream is to see me get married) and when its time for her to go, please pray that she won’t suffer anymore and may she leave earth without any unfinished business, may she not leave anything unsaid or undone.

For our Family:

Please pray for comfort and peace that transcends all understanding, provision for all of mom’s medical needs, wisdom on how to handle the situation, may we always choose what the Lord wants us to choose and not what is convenient or what we think is just the best, let go of all pride and have the God’s grace and the humility to settle all disputes, learn how to forgive each other,  to be more patient and loving to each other esp to mom, strength and courage to face each day and our fears, good health as we take care of our mom and for us to learn to trust and be more dependent on the Lord.

May the Lord give us the opportunity as a family to experience on how to be a family again. May the Lord Jesus Christ be always with us in this journey and help us to trust him on the uncertainties that each tomorrow brings.  It is truly, truly, truly overwhelming, but God is way much bigger than all the problems in the world, combined….Lord, please allow my family to realize that…

Mom is sleeping as I write this blog, I can’t help but shed a tear as I see her effort to breath while she sleeps (she was drugged to sleep that’s why she was able to fall asleep).

Thank you very much for your prayers and support,  I appreciate all your messages and prayers more than you will ever know....

https://www.facebook.com/rhycel.marcelo 

My Mom's C....

Mom was diagnosed and operated with almost Stage 4 breast cancer in 2010, declared cancer free in 2011 and diagnosed again with cancer in April 2013.  Yes, you read it right, it was the first news I received when I woke up yesterday morning (April 22).

I heard the news from my sister in law who asked me not to say anything since my mom didn’t want me and my siblings to know, she thinks that her condition will just be an added burden to us due to our current family and financial predicament.  I tried to ask questions from my mom about the lump on her right shoulder, with the hope that she’ll eventually spill the beans but she refused to speak about it and due to my persistence, she eventually lied by saying that she haven’t seen her doctor yet.  I told her that I have doctor friends who could possibly check her but she just opted to keep quiet for a while and changed the topic.  Decided not to insist anymore.

I spent my morning calling some friends asking for prayer, researching more about Ketogenic diet etc.; in the afternoon, I felt my world just stopped spinning.  I was just lying down as I prayed ‘til I fell asleep; woke-up at almost 6pm then decided that I should not let this stop my world and life has to move on as it should be.

Part of me wants to cry but part of me seems to refuse it; no tears have fallen yet from me since yesterday but my heart was like slashed into pieces, I am just glad that the Lord’s grace is holding my heart so tight so I won’t have to fall.  I do not exactly know yet the status of her current C but as per my mom through my sister in law, the doctor said that it has already spread out.

I refuse to entertain thoughts that will just bring me to tears, thoughts that will just bring fear of what’s next and produce doubt to the Lord. I knew that this time will eventually come but I just didn’t realize that it’ll come this soon. 

I’ll never know what lies ahead of us, His plans for my mom and our family, I do not know how much more pain do I need to bear as I walk on this journey but all I know is that I should just trust God on every detail and in every millisecond of my life’s journey. Our current writhe in life may or may not come out in a way I would always hope it would but I just want keep on believing that God always knows what is best for us all.

Lord, on my mom’s condition, I am not giving up my hope that you will again allow her to heal but as hard it may be for me to utter -- Lord, I am laying her at your feet and fully surrendering her condition in your will. I must admit, the unknown tomorrow is starting to bring fear in my heart and tears in my eyes as I ask this to you Lord at this very moment, but help me to just trust you, Lord….help me to just trust you no matter what…

Lord, just P-L-E-A-S-E promise me 4 things, should your plan for her is the one that I am not hoping for, please promise me Lord, that you’ll give me time to express and say how much I truly love her, she'll leave earth happy, don't let her suffer and should her time come, you’ll bring her only in your home -- HEAVEN.

To all those who took time to read this blog, I’d like to ask you to please pray for my mom.  Thank you very much and may God truly bless you, all.

OBEDIENCE

I praise and thank the Lord for Glorious Hope, it is there that I learned the humility in making amends; It is not important as to who harmed who, at the end of the day "it always takes 2 to tango", in God's eyes the other is just as guilty as the other, no winner, everybody involved get hurt in the process.
  

Humility and obedience to the Lord is far more important than in taking pride in the validation that we get from people and in knowing or pointing out whether who's right or wrong. For Him, what is important is to start practicing what we learned from Him; as what is written in 1 Samuel 15:22 “Obedience is better than sacrifice and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.” God is after our obedience not in our sacrifices, like Abraham’s obedience when the Lord asked him to sacrifice Isaac; Abraham’s love for the Lord was remarkably demonstrated through his obedience to the toughest “test” in his life and until now many are blessed by his story.
  

Humanly speaking making amends is not an easy feat, sometimes pride (either we do not want to admit that we are also somehow at fault or because we enjoy in taking pride making ourselves believe that we are in no fault at all) or fear (because we do not want to feel defeated or rejected by the person that we’ll make amends with) gets in the way.  God did not ask us to make amends so we would know who hurt first,  whose fault it was or who wronged who, God wants us to make amends because that’s what He wants us to do, He wants us to obey Him and I think the humility in such act is one of the loudest proclamation in our faith walk on how much we really love and value the Lord.  It’s never easy to utter “I’m Sorry” for we all have our own set of human expectations; though we should always aim for restoration but we should never expect anything from the other party when we apologize, we just need to arm ourselves with prayer, sincerity, humility and obedience; it’s no longer important whether they won’t immediately extend their forgiveness (or choose not to forgive at all), refuse to say a thing or opt not to apologize back, their forgiveness and/or admission that they are also (somehow) at fault is just a bonus from God (at the end of the day, they are the one who is accountable to our Creator), such “bonuses” should never be our objective nor goal, our main focus should just be the Lord, nothing more, nothing less. 

 

Often God allows us to go through unlikely situations to test us. God is after the condition of our hearts’, our response to His given predicament will determine what will happen next, whether we take the next level or reap the consequences and be a “repeater” until we realize exactly the lessons that God wants us to learn.  Never forget that The Lord never meant to hurt us, like He never intended Isaac to be slayed for sacrifice by his own father, all were just a heart test, a test of our O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E.  

If we want God to author our own “love story”, we should learn to listen, follow and trust the future that is yet to be revealed.  Our hurts, pains, defeats, struggles and challenges are great opportunities for us to bless others through our response in pressing situations; Victory only comes in our obedient response to God, and I pray that our love story with God will greatly encourage others to believe in the divine power of Godly obedience.

JOHN 3:16

Before I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I didn’t had much appreciation or should I say understanding on this verse; though I heard about it but it didn't make an impact on me until such time I realized how much I needed God in my life.

It was in the year 2008 when I accepted Jesus, God placed me in a difficult situation where I was forced to contemplate on how I lived my life for 33 years; I knew there was a God (or many Gods),  I thought I believed in God, I thought I was worshipping  and serving Him through good works, only to realize when I looked back that I was only doing such to earn my way to heaven when my time comes,  but I was wrong! I realized, should good works is my ticket to heaven, Jesus died for nothing. 
In my 5 year journey as a Christian, the more I get to know Christ, the more John 3:16 creates a bigger impact not only in me but in my pursuit to obey Him. I may not be a parent yet, but I could not just imagine how painful it could have been to sacrifice His only Son to save His creations who have sinned against Him and deserving to be eternally in hell.

Jesus had gone through excruciating pain inside –out (emotionally, mentally and physically), He was humiliated, insulted, denied and scourged by lashing Cat-o-nine-tails for 39 times that literally ripped His skin and crowned Him with 1 to 2 inches reeds of thorns that was pressed so hard that according to scriptures it pierced His skull  to further intensify Christ’s undescribable pain,  but His obedience to His Father and love for us lead Him into facing the Romans’ most brutal punishment – Crucifixion.

Prior to the crucifixion, Jesus carried part of the cross weighing 75 to 125lbs for half a mile, without taking any sort of meal.  Then, when He finally reached Golgotha, Jesus was nailed through His wrist (if its on the palm it would most likely tear down once the cross was up) that it caused His wrist bone to dislocate while the nails were still tightly holding on the cross.  At that time, the Romans had discovered the Medial nerve located just above the wrist joint and the centre of the foot.  The weight of the body caused the nail to press against the nerve shooting horrific pain throughout the nerves of the body.  The art of crucifixion did not cause Jesus to lose a lot of blood but the pain was deeply and truly  agonising.  Jesus’ body would have sagged downwards, causing agonising pain and severe cramp on the arms, shoulders and chest. He would then have found it difficult to breathe and maybe in an attempt to buy some time, he would have pushed himself up by the nails in his feet and stretched his legs which would have enabled him to breathe, but at the same time caused unbearable pain. The weight of the body, pulling down on the outstretched arms and shoulders, would tend to fix the intercostal muscles in the position of inhalation. The only way the Jesus could have exhaled was to lift with his arms and push with his legs to hold himself up for a few seconds to allow the air to escape from his lungs. To avoid suffocation Jesus was forced to cause his own excruciating pain by putting more pressure on the medial nerves. It was only a matter of time before the Jesus’ heart failed and his lungs would fill with fluid.
Reference: http://donaldsona.tripod.com/index-24.html

I cannot imagine the pain of a Father staring on His only begotten Son facing a capital punishment only to save those who have betrayed Him of their sins, in order to give them/us the opportunity to be with Him in heaven. I can’t imagine how much God truly loves us that in spite of our sins, despite how we live our lives, He still wants us to be saved and be with Him in heaven.

Thank you Jesus for your obedience to the Father, thank you for saving us and thank you for loving us the way you do.

37th Birthday

Last March 31 I celebrated my 37th birthday, days before that, I started to pray for God to give me a joyful surprise on my special day;  At first I didn’t know what surprise would I exactly like to receive from God but later on I realized that I was just on denial....

Two days before my birthday, friends started to celebrate, still, I am thinking as to what surprise would I really want to receive, ‘til I admitted in my heart that what I really wanted was for my dad to greet me on my birthday, it’s been years since the last time he greeted me, in fact the last time he did was through my mom 8 yrs ago.

Saturday came, my d’ day! Didn’t get to see my dad, Sunday, the day after my birthday, he prepared my usual breakfast but still didn’t bother to greet me. I felt so disappointed and can’t help but feel the hurt in my heart.  I am not the type of person who wants the world to stop for my birthday, in fact it’s already a huge deal for me if people that are important to me would take time to send their greetings (except for Adrian dapat kasama ko sya nun! hehehe), in fact it’s already a bonus blessing for me if people prepares something to surprise me.  I was just saddened when it felt like that my only special day in a year was not given importance by my dad…..Somehow, I felt God disappointed me.

Admittedly, I felt bad, though I was trying to manage my pain by placing my focus on those happy surprises and greetings that I received from friends and love-ones,  but part of me, I was wondering “Ano kaya ang plano ni Lord? Ano na naman kaya ang dapat kong matutunan ngayon?...”

On my way to CCF main for the vesper worship last Sunday, I spoke to God while in the cab; I told Him how I felt and  this is what God said:  “ My dearest daughter, isn't it enough that when you wake up each morning, your meals has already been carefully prepared by your earthly father? Isn't it enough that he is still with you and still able to do things for you? That even if you sometimes get hurt with the things that he utter about you and your family, isn't it enough that I am still giving you more time to pray for your dad's salvation?"

I cried…profusely.

I was unable to control the tears from rolling down my cheeks.  My heart was convicted.  Truly, His ways are different. And God is so goooooodddddddddd!!!! In fact God is answering my prayer, by giving me and my friends enough time to pray for my dad’s salvation;  In spite the fact that he is a 74 year old alcoholic, I still praise God that my dad is still strong and able to function well, for I know in the core of my heart,  I would rather choose to be cursed on by my dad on a regular basis rather than to see his eyes fold with the knowledge that he is not saved..

I thank God for this realization, admittedly it still hurts a little, and my home situation still makes me shed a tear or two from time to time especially when he is drunk and on rage, but I have entrusted my whole life to the Lord, every little thing about me,  I am just trusting His plans in my life; Been praying for our family’s salvation since I became serious in my Christian walk, His answer may take longer than I wished for but my heart is anchored on His promises and grace….In His perfect time I know everything will be way much better.

My birthday only comes once a year, for years, I hoped to be loved and greeted by my earthly father on that single day, but I praise God for recently, He made me realize that my dad may not be greeting me every March 31, but he is in fact making me feel that in every meal that he prepares, it is his silent way of saying I love you, my dear child and that is already enough reason for me to regularly sing my very own “Happy Birthday” song :)

To God be all the praise, honor and glory.  

SOARED 500FT ABOVE THE GROUND...

I am so blessed to experience an adventure trip that most people are just curious about, an experience that not everyone would have an opportunity to do in their lifetime -- TANDEM PARAGLIDING.

Yesterday, I had an opportunity to try tandem paragliding in Carmona, Cavite, Randelle (or Buko as most of his friends call him) who owns Air Sports Adventure Philippines and the first & (take note!) only Filipino who is licensed to do tandem paragliding in the country invited me to a one day of fun-filled  adventure.

From Makati, Buko, Armand and I travelled to Petron SLEX to meet Joy, Roy and Armand, our clients who are brave enough to try the tandem paragliding.  We had a few briefing in Starbucks before we went straight to the area,  Carmona was like 30 minutes away from where we had our briefing but the trek going up the jump-off point was the challenge, the road was quite a challenge, very dusty and large piles construction trucks and boulders were seen in the area for  some part of the hill side is being developed to become a low-cost subdivision by a private company, sad but true.  Anyway, going back to my adventure, when we finally hit the spot, I started to feel my nerves especially when I realized how high we were.  We were 50 meters (or 164.04 feet) above the ground, that is quite too much already for someone who is afraid of heights. I was quite nervous, while watching the others fly, I was praying and asking God for protection not only for myself but for us all; I even sent some prayer request to few of my friends, asking for their prayer of protection.

After 3 hours or so, it was my turn to fly, to my surprise, my friend Buko told me that Armand (Dard) will be the one to take me on air; Armand is a French man who have been flying for 17 years,  a license tandem pilot and been teaching paragliding for 13 years, so I told myself…COOL!  Somehow part of me got a little excited since when I saw him flew with my friend Joy, Armand was quite a dare devil and were doing some “acrobatics”, even if he has someone with him….Then, my turn came, I must admit my knees were starting to get weaker and weaker but I told myself, I have to do it and my last words were Lord, please take care of me….

Then when we ran….after 3 to 4 steps, I started to realize that I am already running on air….I must admit, it was such an exhilarating experience!!!!  I SUPER LOVE IT!!!!! It’s truly a different feeling to fly on air, I can feel the air run through my whole being, I can clearly hear the sound of the air rushing through the kite’s rope. I was literally 500 feet above the ground!!!!! Armand even gave me the chance to control the kite by myself  --- 100% pure FUN!!! He even did some aerial tricks, we were not just gliding on air, we were literally rotating, swerving, swinging, and veering on air!!!! Wow!!!! It is truly an experience that one can never forget….

 After our flying adventure, the fun didn’t stopped there, Buko took me to an Off-road trip to Tagaytay, he drove me to a way or road where I never thought that it even existed, only driver’s like Buko and tough 4x4 vehicles would dare to try that way, the road was really rough and tough and all I can see as we trek that way were either forest type trees or huge grass prairies; I was literally bouncing inside Buko’s pick-up, all the while I thought such treks are only meant for (walking) mountaineers, guess’ I was wrong about that.

When we finally got to Tagaytay, Buko treated us in Amoroma, I super love their pesto and anchovies pizza!!! And their caramel panna cotta was also good.  YUMMY!!!!! It was truly a day filled with great new experience for me, on our way home, we were even treated to a buko station where I had the chance to straw the buko juice straight from the shell! Quite cool!

It was indeed a tiring day, I’ve tried things that I never thought I would or could, but I did! Being up on air made me realized how beautiful to see things from a birds’ eye view, it made me appreciate nature even more! And I was also somehow reminded that if God was able to create all these beautiful things, what else can He not do?

Being 500ft above the ground made me realized how small things can become from that  perspective, but God softly whispered to my heart,  “It may be small from up here but I am in control of everything, my child, nothing is too small or too big for me to handle”.  It’s truly so comforting to know how OMNIPOTENT God is.

Thank you for Lord for the good weather, thank you Lord for the good flow of air, thank you Lord for the wonderful experience, for allowing me to appreciate your beautiful creation all the more, for the kids that you allowed me to meet at the jumping site, for moving me to get out of my comfort zone, for helping me to conquer my fear of heights and most of all thank you for reminding me that NOTHING IS TOO SMALL OR TOO BIG FOR YOU TO HANDLE…..

Btw, have I mentioned that I didn't spend even a single centavo on that trip? Buko (Randelle) generously shared his blessings to me. Thank you, Lord!!!!

I AM WONDERFULLY BLESSED.

So, who wants to join me in my next flying trip????

HEARTFELT REMINDER

Christianity is not about transportation but it’s about TRANSFORMATION.  God is in the business of transforming lives….

I am blessed to be part of Dr. Randy Dellosa’s  5 week life-coaching seminar not just because of the life coaching skills that he's imparting on us in order to reach out and help more people but as well as to the reminder of grace that I had when he made me a part in one of his training demo.

Last Saturday, he asked our group if there was anyone who attempted suicide or at least have thought of suicide at least once and to my surprise I was the only one who raised a hand.

3 ½ years ago, I almost committed suicide, weeks after I left my last corporate job, 2am I was driving around Makati-Mandaluyong bridge seriously thinking of hitting my car towards the railing with the hope that I would just fall in the river and die, if I remember it right, it took me quite a number of turns at the bridge island for I was looking for the right timing, ensuring that no stranger will be hurt and no car will be hit.  I was crying profusely while driving, questioning God, I was deeply hurt, confused, lost and felt that I had no one else to turn to nor no one would understand, was tired of clichés, and useless words that didn’t make any sense to me.  I was so full of myself then, I was only thinking of the pride that I can’t hold on to and the so-called corporate image that I created and lost, in my mind my corporate life was the only thing that I can call mine, I owned it, I worked hard for it and the only thing that can’t be taken away from me then I lost it….All I wanted was to die, so the pain would stop once my heart beats’ stops. But God had other plans for me…

Last Saturday, I went on a journey back to that part of my life, though I knew that it was just an exercise to demonstrate how the questions should be like when we do life-coaching but I wasn’t able to hold back, my voice cracked, I was shaking and tears started to fall…I can’t help but be reminded how lost I was, how alone I was, how empty I was, how lonely I was, I wore a mask,  my life then was an epitome of worldly living….I was reminded how I allowed myself to be trapped with busyness, relationships, money, material things or anything that the world can offer just to fill my inner despondencies. I’ve been dead a long time ago....way before I even knew it.

Now, looking back, I can’t help but thank the Lord over and over and over again and even I was forced to be in bed yesterday due to my fever, I can’t help but feel the joy inside me, tears of joy were falling, copiously; And even if I feel really weak yesterday, I had to get up and ensure that I won’t miss the Sunday vesper worship for I wanted to praise and worship the Lord and just thank Him endlessly for all the works that He’ve done and will be doing in my life.  My heart is truly, truly overwhelmed, tears were uncontrollably falling the whole time and I can’t help but say “Thank You, Lord, Thank you, Lord, Thank you, Lord,  Thank You Lord for your Grace”.

I thank the Lord for changing my life, my views, my perspective and my whole being; Life is truly, truly simply wonderful! In spite of life’s constant adversities, I can’t help but feel this unfathomable joy and assurance that no matter what, I will never, ever be alone and His presence alone in my life is more than sufficient.

When Dr. Dellosa asked me as to how can I describe how I think and feel after everything that happened?  I just gave him my most honest & heartfelt answer, “ I am joyful,  for I am Saved by Grace”


Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by  good works, so that no one can boast

Sexual Purity

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

Four years ago I surrendered my life to God, I must say it was the toughest but the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life!

I lived a life as to how the world defines it or even worst; I made a lot of compromises without thinking of the possible consequences of my actions.  Living a pure life is non-existent in my life book, I used to believe that I should pursue whatever will make me happy and bring pleasure, even if in reality, I feel so empty and exhausted inside without me realizing it then, all I know was I never wanted to be alone but I didn’t know the reason why.

Sex was my one of my greatest pleasure and dependence, my relationships were defined by the pleasure that sex brings, I didn’t know then the importance of purity, my line of thinking was it’s okay to do it since its acceptable and open, before I strongly believe that life without sex is boring and sexual compatibility then to me was one of my top most important factor in a relationship since I thought that it’s a relationship binder, for the fun and adventure that it brings…..but I was wrong!

When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, slowly His command of purity was making sense to me, though I must admit during the early stages of my Christianity I was still actively practicing that part of my old life….but as I get to know His word, His promises and His love for us, slowly, I am taking a slow drive away from my active lifestyle, until such time that I decided to have a covenant of purity. 

Taking the correct path is not an easy road to trek, most especially if you’re driven by your personal motives and not solely because we love Him, that’s why we wanted to obey.  I told myself, “Lord this is for you” but in reality the underlying unsaid motive in my heart was “Lord, bless me ha cause I am making a huge sacrifice for you”   (hehehe parang x-deal) but sadly that’s not how it works and in my first year, as expected, I failed about 2 to 3 times --- F-A-I-L-U-R-E!  I honestly wanted to give up, thinking along the line that since God is very loving and merciful, He will forgive me anyway,  but whenever the Holy Spirit reminds me of what I learned in B1G 4 (I can choose to sin, but I can never choose the consequences of my sins), fear succumbed my whole being; Though lies were still moving then around my head,  and it somehow made me walk a step or two backwards for there was this certain shame in my  heart that made me feel uneasy and insecure deep inside….

Failing is never easy, but it is important that when we do, we have people around us to encourage and bring us back to the word (run away from people who will tolerate you and say that it’s okay), I must say I am very blessed to be surrounded by people who helped me pray for His grace, so I can stand with Him against my stronghold; And it did worked! God answered our prayer, in fact with a bonus.

God allowed me to get to know Him all the more so I may understand His words and commands by heart, as I become more intimate and learned to increase my dependence on the Lord, it made me fall deeply in love with Him (truly I can feel His loving presence in my life even through my toughest times, never did He leave me alone). And through that love and graciousness, choosing obedience is an automatic heart choice for all I ever wanted is to give Him honor, glory and praise.

The Lord answered our prayer by helping me to know His Lordship first and changing the motives of my heart on the covenant that I had with Him.  By God’s grace, obedience on the area of purity is no longer a stronghold, in fact by His grace He even answered 2 of my prayers in which I/we (and my Church friends)   have prayed for 3 years – Adrian is now a Christian and been attending regular worship service with me since July;  Though he have always respected & never made an issue about my vow of purity but at least now it’s a joy to know that he has a better understanding in that area and our obedience is not based on ourselves alone, but because we both love the Lord so much. I may not know if he is the one that God prepared for me but his spiritual progress is enough reason for me to be happy, whether we end up together or not, the fact that Christ is in his heart, is already good enough for me.

Purity for someone who used to live like me is not an easy feat but God is truly awesome and all powerful, all we need is just to seek Him, obey with a correct heart and love Him above all, cause if we do, His grace alone is sufficient enough for us not to be tempted and be able to deny the desires of our own flesh.

Saved by Grace.

Merci Dieu!!!

MacGyver

Remember the guy in the 80’s who can invent everything with basically anything? Yup, for those who belong in my age range would probably remember the 80’s action-adventure TV show in Channel 9 called MacGyver, starred by Richard Dean Anderson.

Growing up I witnessed by Kuya Henry became a huge fan of that TV show, he consistently watched the show and even at times that he would fail to watch it, he would always find a way to tape the show by using the record timer in our Betamax player then. I also like watching MacGyver with my brother, back then I may not understand the show as much but watching it with my Kuya is what I enjoyed most that time.

When I was a kid I always wonder if there is indeed someone out there like MacGyver?  A man who could invent something useful from scratch by using simple stuffs that can be simply found at home or even from the good old junk….

When I grew up I have forgotten about MacGyver, my curiosity about what he did in the show also stopped, but just recently I realized that MacGyver is certainly not just a TV show character in my life but he is indeed for real, an existent person whose works was just taken for granted and he is non-other than my dad.

Looking back, I saw my dad how he worked on different stuffs, he can turn almost all non-useful or junk stuffs into something handy, he hates throwing things away cause for him everything can still be used, may be not now but in the future he can always find a way to turn things into something valuable.  My dad’s skills and fondness into fixing appliances (have I mentioned that he’s an appliance technician?!) lead him to enjoy doing his own stuffs without needing to hire someone to do it for him, as well as inventing simple things that can be very useful in our daily lives.

In early 2000, the side mirror of the company car that was assigned to me was stolen, upon replacement, my dad invented a side mirror protector that would discourage the thieves from stealing it; However, back then, I wasn’t so appreciative of what my old man did cause may be in my mind I was thinking that I could always afford to buy a replacement or maybe I felt that it would be a bother to put that on especially at times when I felt too sleepy and all I wanted was to get off the car and be in bed.

Recently, as most of you already know, Diego’s (in case you don’t know him, he’s my baby and he’s a car) side mirrors and its covers were stolen in broad day light while it was parked in our home street.  It was quite devastating for me, especially for someone who can’t just afford to buy a new pair (a whopping 7,000 to 10,000Php for an original one for each side, take note: for each side); But PRAISE GOD, after 2 weeks, the Lord blessed me with another pair of side mirrors, believe it or not for an original pair (with installation) that I purchased in Mazda, I only had to pay a total of 6,600Php, for a pair! What a deal! In fact, the guys even replaced the plastic structures where the window adjustment motor is located and the mirror and cover are attached with a new pair for free! Since according to them, it was also damaged when the crooks wrongly opened the cover and forcedly detached the mirror.  God is truly great! And I am more blessed because my dear MacGyver immediately and patiently worked on Diego’s side mirror protector and after his 2 days of patience (it took him a while since I always had to bring the car when I leave), Diego’s side mirrors are again very well protected, in fact my dad even made a hand sewn fabric cover made of jeans so I may cover the whole form before I put on the metal cover to ensure that the back cover of the mirrors won’t be abraded.   

I thank God for my dad, he may sometimes be quite challenging, he may often say or do things that may hurt us but one thing is for sure, I know in my heart that my dad is loving me the best way he knows how.

I love you so much dad and I pray that one day I could tell you personally, as I look at you eye to eye, how much I truly love and appreciate everything that you’ve done for me and how I feel so blessed on having you as my dad.

No matter what others may say, in my heart my dad will always be one of my hero here on earth and one of God’s BEST blessing in my life.

Thank you Lord for the opportunity to be my father’s daughter.