HEARTFELT REMINDER

Christianity is not about transportation but it’s about TRANSFORMATION.  God is in the business of transforming lives….

I am blessed to be part of Dr. Randy Dellosa’s  5 week life-coaching seminar not just because of the life coaching skills that he's imparting on us in order to reach out and help more people but as well as to the reminder of grace that I had when he made me a part in one of his training demo.

Last Saturday, he asked our group if there was anyone who attempted suicide or at least have thought of suicide at least once and to my surprise I was the only one who raised a hand.

3 ½ years ago, I almost committed suicide, weeks after I left my last corporate job, 2am I was driving around Makati-Mandaluyong bridge seriously thinking of hitting my car towards the railing with the hope that I would just fall in the river and die, if I remember it right, it took me quite a number of turns at the bridge island for I was looking for the right timing, ensuring that no stranger will be hurt and no car will be hit.  I was crying profusely while driving, questioning God, I was deeply hurt, confused, lost and felt that I had no one else to turn to nor no one would understand, was tired of clichés, and useless words that didn’t make any sense to me.  I was so full of myself then, I was only thinking of the pride that I can’t hold on to and the so-called corporate image that I created and lost, in my mind my corporate life was the only thing that I can call mine, I owned it, I worked hard for it and the only thing that can’t be taken away from me then I lost it….All I wanted was to die, so the pain would stop once my heart beats’ stops. But God had other plans for me…

Last Saturday, I went on a journey back to that part of my life, though I knew that it was just an exercise to demonstrate how the questions should be like when we do life-coaching but I wasn’t able to hold back, my voice cracked, I was shaking and tears started to fall…I can’t help but be reminded how lost I was, how alone I was, how empty I was, how lonely I was, I wore a mask,  my life then was an epitome of worldly living….I was reminded how I allowed myself to be trapped with busyness, relationships, money, material things or anything that the world can offer just to fill my inner despondencies. I’ve been dead a long time ago....way before I even knew it.

Now, looking back, I can’t help but thank the Lord over and over and over again and even I was forced to be in bed yesterday due to my fever, I can’t help but feel the joy inside me, tears of joy were falling, copiously; And even if I feel really weak yesterday, I had to get up and ensure that I won’t miss the Sunday vesper worship for I wanted to praise and worship the Lord and just thank Him endlessly for all the works that He’ve done and will be doing in my life.  My heart is truly, truly overwhelmed, tears were uncontrollably falling the whole time and I can’t help but say “Thank You, Lord, Thank you, Lord, Thank you, Lord,  Thank You Lord for your Grace”.

I thank the Lord for changing my life, my views, my perspective and my whole being; Life is truly, truly simply wonderful! In spite of life’s constant adversities, I can’t help but feel this unfathomable joy and assurance that no matter what, I will never, ever be alone and His presence alone in my life is more than sufficient.

When Dr. Dellosa asked me as to how can I describe how I think and feel after everything that happened?  I just gave him my most honest & heartfelt answer, “ I am joyful,  for I am Saved by Grace”


Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by  good works, so that no one can boast

Side Mirror

In the past years, I have been intensely stripped, by the things that used to define my existence along with the character dysfunction that outlined my whole being. Painstakingly, I have gone through or should I say, am still going through great adversities that sometimes go beyond the ambit of human understanding due to the series of ill-fated events or prolonged being, in some cases. 

Last weekend, I have gone through another hurtful situation again, I asked myself with questions that were somehow related to my past blunders like “Am I still paying the price of my past mistakes or former wayward life? Is there a lesson that I still haven’t learned? Will my travails ever end? ” However, after asking myself with such doubt leading questions, God reminded me of this verse, “If anyone is in Christ, he is now a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17); The Lord reminded me again that such doubt leading thoughts was the enemy’s way of planting the seed of scepticisms in my mind, with the hope that it will soon rob my joy and eventually tremble my emotional realms against my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

A fact that is recognized by the Bible is that we live in a world that is filled with injustices and unfairness.  We sometimes experience great sufferings even at times that we live our lives immaculately. One thing that I always remind myself of is that everything happens for a purpose; often the Lord doesn’t act in the way we could understand but we must trust His character and His limitless power and grace which He graciously gives to His children.

In the course of my recent emotional brokenness, even if I have been a Christian for years, I can’t help but somehow relate what recently happened to me as something that I might have done again that caused me to be disciplined by the Lord; I tried to recall as to what foolish choices did I make that lead me to a painful consequence, however, no matter how hard I try to squeeze my mind over and over and over again, I can’t remember anything in my walk that merits a discipline of losing something of value. 

Amidst all the crying, I decided to revisit the Book of Job, a man who’s life, heart, soul and spirit is dedicated to the Lord, a very decent, blameless and moral man, yet an excruciating disaster was vested upon him that took everything – his sons & daughters and all his wealth.  Reading through the pages, I am blessed to be reminded that sometimes, the Lord allows us to go through unbearable affliction not because He loves us less or we have sinned, but because He wants us to grow in faith and glorify His name no matter what difficulties we may be called upon to endure. 

At times of hard-knocks, I realized that we should not be too hard on ourselves, our miseries may not necessarily be a consequence of a miscalculated action or decision that we might have committed, it may sometimes be a faith-strengthening opportunity that would help us increase our dependence and intimacy with the Lord;  Pain is also an opportunity to be a blessing to others, most especially to those whom God appointed to witness the grace and miracles that He would perform through the entire process.

So, smile and be a blessing! And never forget that God will never turn His back on us no matter what :)

I love you, Jesus!

TRUE BEAUTY

Women generally spend so much time and money (some even millions) trying to be beautiful and attractive, I too was guilty of such....Women tend to spend on things that would help us feel and look good -- make-up, clothes, hair treatments, some even surgery, weight loss program, skin care, designer bags and shoes, etc...etc.. always trying to look expensive in order to please others and the funny thing is sometimes we do it to please even the people that we hate! hhhmmm....In spite of it all,more often even if we achieve our goals on becoming beautiful and enjoy the compliments everywhere, why is it we still feel ugly and/or empty inside? Why?....

Deep down in our heart, we sense that we are made to be truly beautiful, that God created women for loveliness. But unfortunately, we often choose to forget and always tend to seek on superficial ways that the world offer concentrating only on what is in the outside than working from the inside...Did you ever wonder why even the most expensive skin caviar in the world doesn't seem to work? why make-ups can't deny the loneliness in our eyes? you may achieve physical attractiveness that would attract people but the question is, are you attracting the right people? No matter what you do, nothing on earth can truly,truly touch your soul, make your heart truly joyful and can transform your life to ways that you can never imagine...Ever wonder why? because only the grace of Jesus can.

When we shift our hearts' focus from making ourselves beautiful on the outside to opening our mind, heart and soul to our Savior, unfathomable transformation will happen. God will begin by healing our wounds that made who we are and will lead us to behave, think and feel different from before and from the ways of the world. The Lord will bring wholeness to our hearts, He will fill our love tanks, purify our hearts and lift our spirits even at times of troubles -- removing our sin, sorrow or pain by making us understand the deep seated root of our hang-ups and He will reveal us our real selves where true beauty begins...the beauty that can only be true through the Holy Spirit. Real beauty is God's grace to us and it can only shine when we repent and receive Him, and by being unafraid to show the vulnerability of our true self not only to God but to people (very liberating!); a true act of humility. Stop pretending and denying, be not afraid for the Bible says, the Lord walks before you, with you and He will never forsake you no matter what.....

The Lord can make us shine only through His light... True beauty can only be achieved when we allow God to take-over...beauty need not to be expensive and no amount of worldly things can over power God's love and grace -- a free gift that we can never earn.

Invest on what's ETERNAL and not on the external....

BUSY BEE

John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you....

Are you such a busy bee? Too busy that you either wish to have more bodies or more time or more people just to be able to finish everything that has to be done? We are all living in a fast paced world, often we are having a hard time to focus due to the many things that we need to do. I am sure you heard the word multi-tasking, which originally pertained to a computer rapidly alternating between several active tasks. However, the word is now more commonly associated to people who does several things at the same time. Multi-tasking is not only a common term in a business setting or in a workplace but it is unfortunately also a common happening in modern families – families having dinner while watching TV or teen-agers doing their homework while chatting on the phone, what about on the street? How many drivers have you seen texting while driving? How sad…. On a fast paced environment where demand of getting things done ASAP is increasing, we can all be easily tempted to sometimes forego the most important task in our lives and that is to worship the Lord. When life becomes too busy, our time with the Lord tends to be pushed aside, righteousness are often forgotten and we get easily trapped on the norms of the world and sadly we sometimes even justify our wrong doing for the sake of pleasing people and just to submit ourselves to the demand of the times. Do you ever wonder how come in spite of the increasing discoveries and usage of time-saving stuffs like mobile phones, internet, etc. we still feel pressured and rushed? We should all learn to take time to stop, be still and just be simply quiet; that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go out of town all the time but what I meant was we need to give time in the presence of the Lord E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. If we can afford to over sleep or to watch TV, or to have dinner or coffee with friends or to even check our Facebook or Twitter account each day then I think there is no reason why we can’t give time to pray, read and meditate His word. Take time to talk and listen to God and enjoy the blessings of His comforting presence, giving Him time is an act of humility for we are acknowledging that we need Him in our life and He’s our only armor from the attacks of the enemy. It is only through Him that we can experience true joy, contentment and peace that can succumb even the most painful experience that life may bring, He’s the only way where our heart could understand what grace truly means. A vacation can refresh us and give us rest but the happiness and comfort it brings won’t be enough to shield us from our daily challenges. Only God can give us a peaceful sense. God is always ready, He’s just waiting for you to slow down and see Him; Seek God through prayer and His Words. And I assure you God will never be too busy for you.

John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God, and the Word was God...