JOHN 3:16

Before I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I didn’t had much appreciation or should I say understanding on this verse; though I heard about it but it didn't make an impact on me until such time I realized how much I needed God in my life.

It was in the year 2008 when I accepted Jesus, God placed me in a difficult situation where I was forced to contemplate on how I lived my life for 33 years; I knew there was a God (or many Gods),  I thought I believed in God, I thought I was worshipping  and serving Him through good works, only to realize when I looked back that I was only doing such to earn my way to heaven when my time comes,  but I was wrong! I realized, should good works is my ticket to heaven, Jesus died for nothing. 
In my 5 year journey as a Christian, the more I get to know Christ, the more John 3:16 creates a bigger impact not only in me but in my pursuit to obey Him. I may not be a parent yet, but I could not just imagine how painful it could have been to sacrifice His only Son to save His creations who have sinned against Him and deserving to be eternally in hell.

Jesus had gone through excruciating pain inside –out (emotionally, mentally and physically), He was humiliated, insulted, denied and scourged by lashing Cat-o-nine-tails for 39 times that literally ripped His skin and crowned Him with 1 to 2 inches reeds of thorns that was pressed so hard that according to scriptures it pierced His skull  to further intensify Christ’s undescribable pain,  but His obedience to His Father and love for us lead Him into facing the Romans’ most brutal punishment – Crucifixion.

Prior to the crucifixion, Jesus carried part of the cross weighing 75 to 125lbs for half a mile, without taking any sort of meal.  Then, when He finally reached Golgotha, Jesus was nailed through His wrist (if its on the palm it would most likely tear down once the cross was up) that it caused His wrist bone to dislocate while the nails were still tightly holding on the cross.  At that time, the Romans had discovered the Medial nerve located just above the wrist joint and the centre of the foot.  The weight of the body caused the nail to press against the nerve shooting horrific pain throughout the nerves of the body.  The art of crucifixion did not cause Jesus to lose a lot of blood but the pain was deeply and truly  agonising.  Jesus’ body would have sagged downwards, causing agonising pain and severe cramp on the arms, shoulders and chest. He would then have found it difficult to breathe and maybe in an attempt to buy some time, he would have pushed himself up by the nails in his feet and stretched his legs which would have enabled him to breathe, but at the same time caused unbearable pain. The weight of the body, pulling down on the outstretched arms and shoulders, would tend to fix the intercostal muscles in the position of inhalation. The only way the Jesus could have exhaled was to lift with his arms and push with his legs to hold himself up for a few seconds to allow the air to escape from his lungs. To avoid suffocation Jesus was forced to cause his own excruciating pain by putting more pressure on the medial nerves. It was only a matter of time before the Jesus’ heart failed and his lungs would fill with fluid.
Reference: http://donaldsona.tripod.com/index-24.html

I cannot imagine the pain of a Father staring on His only begotten Son facing a capital punishment only to save those who have betrayed Him of their sins, in order to give them/us the opportunity to be with Him in heaven. I can’t imagine how much God truly loves us that in spite of our sins, despite how we live our lives, He still wants us to be saved and be with Him in heaven.

Thank you Jesus for your obedience to the Father, thank you for saving us and thank you for loving us the way you do.

37th Birthday

Last March 31 I celebrated my 37th birthday, days before that, I started to pray for God to give me a joyful surprise on my special day;  At first I didn’t know what surprise would I exactly like to receive from God but later on I realized that I was just on denial....

Two days before my birthday, friends started to celebrate, still, I am thinking as to what surprise would I really want to receive, ‘til I admitted in my heart that what I really wanted was for my dad to greet me on my birthday, it’s been years since the last time he greeted me, in fact the last time he did was through my mom 8 yrs ago.

Saturday came, my d’ day! Didn’t get to see my dad, Sunday, the day after my birthday, he prepared my usual breakfast but still didn’t bother to greet me. I felt so disappointed and can’t help but feel the hurt in my heart.  I am not the type of person who wants the world to stop for my birthday, in fact it’s already a huge deal for me if people that are important to me would take time to send their greetings (except for Adrian dapat kasama ko sya nun! hehehe), in fact it’s already a bonus blessing for me if people prepares something to surprise me.  I was just saddened when it felt like that my only special day in a year was not given importance by my dad…..Somehow, I felt God disappointed me.

Admittedly, I felt bad, though I was trying to manage my pain by placing my focus on those happy surprises and greetings that I received from friends and love-ones,  but part of me, I was wondering “Ano kaya ang plano ni Lord? Ano na naman kaya ang dapat kong matutunan ngayon?...”

On my way to CCF main for the vesper worship last Sunday, I spoke to God while in the cab; I told Him how I felt and  this is what God said:  “ My dearest daughter, isn't it enough that when you wake up each morning, your meals has already been carefully prepared by your earthly father? Isn't it enough that he is still with you and still able to do things for you? That even if you sometimes get hurt with the things that he utter about you and your family, isn't it enough that I am still giving you more time to pray for your dad's salvation?"

I cried…profusely.

I was unable to control the tears from rolling down my cheeks.  My heart was convicted.  Truly, His ways are different. And God is so goooooodddddddddd!!!! In fact God is answering my prayer, by giving me and my friends enough time to pray for my dad’s salvation;  In spite the fact that he is a 74 year old alcoholic, I still praise God that my dad is still strong and able to function well, for I know in the core of my heart,  I would rather choose to be cursed on by my dad on a regular basis rather than to see his eyes fold with the knowledge that he is not saved..

I thank God for this realization, admittedly it still hurts a little, and my home situation still makes me shed a tear or two from time to time especially when he is drunk and on rage, but I have entrusted my whole life to the Lord, every little thing about me,  I am just trusting His plans in my life; Been praying for our family’s salvation since I became serious in my Christian walk, His answer may take longer than I wished for but my heart is anchored on His promises and grace….In His perfect time I know everything will be way much better.

My birthday only comes once a year, for years, I hoped to be loved and greeted by my earthly father on that single day, but I praise God for recently, He made me realize that my dad may not be greeting me every March 31, but he is in fact making me feel that in every meal that he prepares, it is his silent way of saying I love you, my dear child and that is already enough reason for me to regularly sing my very own “Happy Birthday” song :)

To God be all the praise, honor and glory.  

SOARED 500FT ABOVE THE GROUND...

I am so blessed to experience an adventure trip that most people are just curious about, an experience that not everyone would have an opportunity to do in their lifetime -- TANDEM PARAGLIDING.

Yesterday, I had an opportunity to try tandem paragliding in Carmona, Cavite, Randelle (or Buko as most of his friends call him) who owns Air Sports Adventure Philippines and the first & (take note!) only Filipino who is licensed to do tandem paragliding in the country invited me to a one day of fun-filled  adventure.

From Makati, Buko, Armand and I travelled to Petron SLEX to meet Joy, Roy and Armand, our clients who are brave enough to try the tandem paragliding.  We had a few briefing in Starbucks before we went straight to the area,  Carmona was like 30 minutes away from where we had our briefing but the trek going up the jump-off point was the challenge, the road was quite a challenge, very dusty and large piles construction trucks and boulders were seen in the area for  some part of the hill side is being developed to become a low-cost subdivision by a private company, sad but true.  Anyway, going back to my adventure, when we finally hit the spot, I started to feel my nerves especially when I realized how high we were.  We were 50 meters (or 164.04 feet) above the ground, that is quite too much already for someone who is afraid of heights. I was quite nervous, while watching the others fly, I was praying and asking God for protection not only for myself but for us all; I even sent some prayer request to few of my friends, asking for their prayer of protection.

After 3 hours or so, it was my turn to fly, to my surprise, my friend Buko told me that Armand (Dard) will be the one to take me on air; Armand is a French man who have been flying for 17 years,  a license tandem pilot and been teaching paragliding for 13 years, so I told myself…COOL!  Somehow part of me got a little excited since when I saw him flew with my friend Joy, Armand was quite a dare devil and were doing some “acrobatics”, even if he has someone with him….Then, my turn came, I must admit my knees were starting to get weaker and weaker but I told myself, I have to do it and my last words were Lord, please take care of me….

Then when we ran….after 3 to 4 steps, I started to realize that I am already running on air….I must admit, it was such an exhilarating experience!!!!  I SUPER LOVE IT!!!!! It’s truly a different feeling to fly on air, I can feel the air run through my whole being, I can clearly hear the sound of the air rushing through the kite’s rope. I was literally 500 feet above the ground!!!!! Armand even gave me the chance to control the kite by myself  --- 100% pure FUN!!! He even did some aerial tricks, we were not just gliding on air, we were literally rotating, swerving, swinging, and veering on air!!!! Wow!!!! It is truly an experience that one can never forget….

 After our flying adventure, the fun didn’t stopped there, Buko took me to an Off-road trip to Tagaytay, he drove me to a way or road where I never thought that it even existed, only driver’s like Buko and tough 4x4 vehicles would dare to try that way, the road was really rough and tough and all I can see as we trek that way were either forest type trees or huge grass prairies; I was literally bouncing inside Buko’s pick-up, all the while I thought such treks are only meant for (walking) mountaineers, guess’ I was wrong about that.

When we finally got to Tagaytay, Buko treated us in Amoroma, I super love their pesto and anchovies pizza!!! And their caramel panna cotta was also good.  YUMMY!!!!! It was truly a day filled with great new experience for me, on our way home, we were even treated to a buko station where I had the chance to straw the buko juice straight from the shell! Quite cool!

It was indeed a tiring day, I’ve tried things that I never thought I would or could, but I did! Being up on air made me realized how beautiful to see things from a birds’ eye view, it made me appreciate nature even more! And I was also somehow reminded that if God was able to create all these beautiful things, what else can He not do?

Being 500ft above the ground made me realized how small things can become from that  perspective, but God softly whispered to my heart,  “It may be small from up here but I am in control of everything, my child, nothing is too small or too big for me to handle”.  It’s truly so comforting to know how OMNIPOTENT God is.

Thank you for Lord for the good weather, thank you Lord for the good flow of air, thank you Lord for the wonderful experience, for allowing me to appreciate your beautiful creation all the more, for the kids that you allowed me to meet at the jumping site, for moving me to get out of my comfort zone, for helping me to conquer my fear of heights and most of all thank you for reminding me that NOTHING IS TOO SMALL OR TOO BIG FOR YOU TO HANDLE…..

Btw, have I mentioned that I didn't spend even a single centavo on that trip? Buko (Randelle) generously shared his blessings to me. Thank you, Lord!!!!

I AM WONDERFULLY BLESSED.

So, who wants to join me in my next flying trip????

Side Mirror

In the past years, I have been intensely stripped, by the things that used to define my existence along with the character dysfunction that outlined my whole being. Painstakingly, I have gone through or should I say, am still going through great adversities that sometimes go beyond the ambit of human understanding due to the series of ill-fated events or prolonged being, in some cases. 

Last weekend, I have gone through another hurtful situation again, I asked myself with questions that were somehow related to my past blunders like “Am I still paying the price of my past mistakes or former wayward life? Is there a lesson that I still haven’t learned? Will my travails ever end? ” However, after asking myself with such doubt leading questions, God reminded me of this verse, “If anyone is in Christ, he is now a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17); The Lord reminded me again that such doubt leading thoughts was the enemy’s way of planting the seed of scepticisms in my mind, with the hope that it will soon rob my joy and eventually tremble my emotional realms against my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

A fact that is recognized by the Bible is that we live in a world that is filled with injustices and unfairness.  We sometimes experience great sufferings even at times that we live our lives immaculately. One thing that I always remind myself of is that everything happens for a purpose; often the Lord doesn’t act in the way we could understand but we must trust His character and His limitless power and grace which He graciously gives to His children.

In the course of my recent emotional brokenness, even if I have been a Christian for years, I can’t help but somehow relate what recently happened to me as something that I might have done again that caused me to be disciplined by the Lord; I tried to recall as to what foolish choices did I make that lead me to a painful consequence, however, no matter how hard I try to squeeze my mind over and over and over again, I can’t remember anything in my walk that merits a discipline of losing something of value. 

Amidst all the crying, I decided to revisit the Book of Job, a man who’s life, heart, soul and spirit is dedicated to the Lord, a very decent, blameless and moral man, yet an excruciating disaster was vested upon him that took everything – his sons & daughters and all his wealth.  Reading through the pages, I am blessed to be reminded that sometimes, the Lord allows us to go through unbearable affliction not because He loves us less or we have sinned, but because He wants us to grow in faith and glorify His name no matter what difficulties we may be called upon to endure. 

At times of hard-knocks, I realized that we should not be too hard on ourselves, our miseries may not necessarily be a consequence of a miscalculated action or decision that we might have committed, it may sometimes be a faith-strengthening opportunity that would help us increase our dependence and intimacy with the Lord;  Pain is also an opportunity to be a blessing to others, most especially to those whom God appointed to witness the grace and miracles that He would perform through the entire process.

So, smile and be a blessing! And never forget that God will never turn His back on us no matter what :)

I love you, Jesus!

BEST GIFT

About a year and a month ago mom was diagnosed with stage 3 (bordering to 4, according to the doctor) breast cancer, her right breast was taken out and was advised to go through chemo and radiation which would cost our family almost a million. It was almost about a month and a half month before Christmas then, it was so painful, the kind of pain that no one can do anything about; I remember my brother even told me then to already prepare myself for soon mom might bid the world goodbye….My wide dark glasses covered up the tears that was about to secretly fall.

It was the most painful Christmas for me, I felt so lost, never in my life that I had to face such pain….excruciating pain. I questioned God, why? That moment, I enumerated one by one to God all pain that He allowed me to go through –- can’t find work, no projects, got ONDOYed, unpaid bills, credit card collector harassment, living with a father who’s daily routine includes getting drunk and go on rage to lash out all his hang-ups on me and to my half-brother; With all such craziness happening I asked God “ano pa? ano pa ba?” I questioned God, I envied those people that I know whom I thought was being blessed in spite of their disobedience and blindness of God. Admittedly, for a time I isolated myself to almost everyone (including family)…all I wanted was to be alone or just to be with people whom I can to talk to about God and not the world.

It was a struggle to face mom at that time; every interaction was a tough act. I have to appear strong in spite of my inner struggles. I tried to be as normal, where normalcy in the family is defined as non-demonstrative, even if deep inside my heart was breaking to death and all I wanted to tell mom how much I love her dearly.

I am blessed to be surrounded with godly encouraging friends; friends who patiently listened to my cries, friends who encouraged me to have more faith and just trust God’s plan, friends who prayed not only for me but for my mom as well and for friends who always reminded me to always believe in the power of prayer during those times that I was in doubt, were more questions are found than answers and at the time when I was so tempted to give-up my faith.

2010 came, lot of things happened; some good, some bad. But all throughout the year by heart I learned to even have more faith even if I don’t see anything nor have anything to hold on to, even if tomorrow seems to be so black then, I just trusted God’s character, promises and faithfulness.

Last night, December 16, our d-groups’ Christmas party, during the evangelical message of our leader, he asked “what is the greatest gift you think have you ever received?” I got teary eyed, it reminded me how much God truly loves me, how blessed I am, for sometimes I forget the graces that He blessed me with because I sometimes tend to focus too much on the disturbances that the enemy is trying to create….shame on me.

God has given me and my family so much grace, things that I/we do not and will never deserve – our daily bread, provision for our monthly bills and the things that we need, work projects, Adrian, restoration of Diego, my brothers and sisters in Christ, great godly friends / acquaintances, my family, our good health….I do not have a perfect life but by God’s grace, He blessed me with everything that we need, He made me understand and appreciate by heart the simple and yet most important things in life through the lessons that I had to go through from 2008-2010. God truly disciplines those He love, to make them the kind of person that He wants them to be for His glory.

2011 is fast approaching and I am looking forward to what God has planned for me, I will be facing Christmas and the new year with smile and confidence for God is already one by one answering my prayers.

You know what’s the best gift I’ve received this Christmas?

MOM IS CANCER FREE.

Thank you very much Lord!!!!! All the praise, honor and glory are yours……

Note: Thank you so much for all your love, support and most especially prayers. Mom, didn’t go through any chemo and radiation though she may still have her maintenance medication but at least the doctor has already cleared her. God used my mom's cancer for me to fully understand what grace truly, truly means; Mom is a living example of God’s mercy and grace. Please continue to include my mom in your prayer, may her cancer won't recur, please pray for our family's salvation, reconcillation and good health as well. Kung gusto nyo sama nyo na rin yung GB ko ; ) hehehe

May God truly bless each and every one of you. My mom's story is a testimony that God truly listens, just be patiently obedient and never give-up on Him even if everything seems to be so dark and gray.

Have a very Merry CHRISTmas and a blessed 2011!!!! I love you all! I LOVE YOU LORD!!!!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!

BUSY BEE

John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you....

Are you such a busy bee? Too busy that you either wish to have more bodies or more time or more people just to be able to finish everything that has to be done? We are all living in a fast paced world, often we are having a hard time to focus due to the many things that we need to do. I am sure you heard the word multi-tasking, which originally pertained to a computer rapidly alternating between several active tasks. However, the word is now more commonly associated to people who does several things at the same time. Multi-tasking is not only a common term in a business setting or in a workplace but it is unfortunately also a common happening in modern families – families having dinner while watching TV or teen-agers doing their homework while chatting on the phone, what about on the street? How many drivers have you seen texting while driving? How sad…. On a fast paced environment where demand of getting things done ASAP is increasing, we can all be easily tempted to sometimes forego the most important task in our lives and that is to worship the Lord. When life becomes too busy, our time with the Lord tends to be pushed aside, righteousness are often forgotten and we get easily trapped on the norms of the world and sadly we sometimes even justify our wrong doing for the sake of pleasing people and just to submit ourselves to the demand of the times. Do you ever wonder how come in spite of the increasing discoveries and usage of time-saving stuffs like mobile phones, internet, etc. we still feel pressured and rushed? We should all learn to take time to stop, be still and just be simply quiet; that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go out of town all the time but what I meant was we need to give time in the presence of the Lord E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. If we can afford to over sleep or to watch TV, or to have dinner or coffee with friends or to even check our Facebook or Twitter account each day then I think there is no reason why we can’t give time to pray, read and meditate His word. Take time to talk and listen to God and enjoy the blessings of His comforting presence, giving Him time is an act of humility for we are acknowledging that we need Him in our life and He’s our only armor from the attacks of the enemy. It is only through Him that we can experience true joy, contentment and peace that can succumb even the most painful experience that life may bring, He’s the only way where our heart could understand what grace truly means. A vacation can refresh us and give us rest but the happiness and comfort it brings won’t be enough to shield us from our daily challenges. Only God can give us a peaceful sense. God is always ready, He’s just waiting for you to slow down and see Him; Seek God through prayer and His Words. And I assure you God will never be too busy for you.

John 1:1
In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God, and the Word was God...