Testament of Changed Reality

In the past years, I was taught with a profound sense of humility in the face of tremendous adversity both in my personal and professional life. For years, I operated my life under a belief that I could continuously live in my own liking with just little consequences for everything. I thought I am solely in charged of my life and I own it, so I thought I could do anything that I wanted and that fate was under my control, but I was wrong…truly wrong!

Surviving life itself is challenging and growing up feeling alone while covering and denying all personal pains is indeed a tough feat . I thought I was just normal, living life as it should be, living it to the fullest ! I had tons of so-called friends from all walks of life, a loving boyfriend and a pretty successful career. I was able to buy things that I wanted and went to different places, I may not had everything but I had a life that may be an envy to some.

I fell in love with the world and allowed myself to be succumbed to what it can offer, for the hope that it will bring life and fill the emptiness that I can’t explain. I covered my loneliness with laughter, my insecurity with false confidence through material dependency; I was disrespectful to my parents but I covered it with gifts and monetary support, I became proud but I covered it with false humility so I can please others with the hope that I will be liked and eventually loved by the people that I seek for attention….My life was a complete denial; However, in my grievances and pain, I always remembered that there is a God that I can blame, when the truth was I never thought of Him when I was in my so-called normal predicament; Well, I knew Him by concept, my saving grace when things were going beyond my control and as someone to thank for when my evil thoughts turned into a reality…

I thought I was just insanely blind but I never did realize that I already died long before I knew.

I was like a zombie walking aimlessly, its mere existence didn’t have any meaningful purpose. I was just like bouncing around and floating without gravity wherever the universe will take me….Until the universe took me to an UPWARD direction, I saw the light and has given a chance to see life in a totally different perspective.

The fact that I am writing this blog now is a testament of a changed reality, a change that I didn't expect to happen and a reality that I didn't do that directed me to the eternity that I was silently hoping for, since.

My life is still far from perfect, I still go through daily challenges, excruciating pains and great deal of adversities, I still don’t have everything that I want but I am thankful on the fact that all my needs are provided for; His love and grace in my life is more than enough to bring peace and joy that transcends all understanding.

Thank you Jesus for allowing me to live again.

I now know that I no longer just exist but I am now living life with a purpose.

2 Corinthians 5;17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!